voskos_7 (15-12-13)
- Åóý üôáí ôá êÜíåéò ìå ðïéï ÷Ýñé óêïõðßæåóáé...?
- Ìå ôï äåîß...!
- Á... ÏÊ, åãþ ìå ÷áñôß...!
voskos_7 (15-12-13)
BrazHlias (15-12-13)
Ç ðéï áìÞ÷áíç óôéãìÞ åßíáé áõôÞ ðïõ ìðáßíåéò óå pet shop
êáé ñùôÜò ôçí ðùëÞôñéá áí Ý÷åé êïëÜñá...
ÊÁÍÅÉÓ ÊÁÍÅÉÓ
ÄÅÍ ÅÉÍÁÉ ËÅÌÏÍÇÓ
Ôñåéò ôýðïé åßíáé Ýîù áðü ôïí ðáñÜäåéóï. ÅðåéäÞ ï Aãéïò ÐÝôñïò åß÷å ðïëý äïõëåéÜ, ëÝåé:
- "ÓÞìåñá èá ðåñÜóïõí ìüíï üóïé
åß÷áí öñé÷ôü èÜíáôï."
ÐëçóéÜæåé ï ðñþôïò êáé ëÝåé:
- "Ãõñßæù áðü ôçí äïõëåéÜ óÞìåñá ôï ìåóçìÝñé íùñßôåñá Ý÷ïíôáò ôçí õðïøßá üôé ç ãõíáßêá ìïõ ìå áðáôÜåé! ØÜ÷íù üëï ôï óðßôé, äåí âñßóêù ôßðïôá. Âãáßíù óôçí âåñÜíôá ãéá íá êáðíßóù êáé âëÝðù Ýíá ôýðï íá êñÝìåôáé áðü ôá êÜãêåëá, áñ÷ßæù íá ôïõ ÷ôõðÜù ôá ÷Ýñéá ãéá íá ðÝóåé áðü ôïí 5ï ðïõ ìÝíïõìå, äåí Ýðåöôå êáé ðåñíþ Ýíá óöõñß, ðÝöôåé óôï êåíü áëëÜ óþæåôáé ãéáôß Ýðåóå óå êÜôé èÜìíïõò, áñðÜæù ôï øõãåßï ôüôå êáé ôïõ ôï ðåôÜù... åå ôüôå ðáèáßíù êáñäéáêÞ ðñïóâïëÞ êáé ðåèáßíù!"
Ôüôå ôïõ ëÝåé ï Aãéïò ÐÝôñïò:
- "Aó÷çìç ìÝñá, Üó÷çìïò èÜíáôïò" êáé ôïí áöÞíåé íá ðåñÜóåé.
ÐÜåé êáé ï äåýôåñïò êáé ëÝåé ôçí éóôïñßá ôïõ:
- "Åãþ êÜèå ìåóçìåñÜêé ãõìíÜæïìáé óôçí âåñÜíôá ôïõ óðéôéïý ìïõ óôïí 6ï üñïöï, óÞìåñá ãëßóôñçóá êáé êáèþò Ýðåöôá ðéÜóôçêá áðü ôá êÜãêåëá ôïõ 5ïõ, áðåëðßóôçêá ìÝ÷ñé ðïõ åßäá Ýíá êýñéï íá Ýñ÷åôáé íá ìå âïçèÞóåé, áëëÜ Üñ÷éóå íá ìïõ ÷ôõðÜ ôá ÷Ýñéá ìå Ýíá óöõñß êáé Ýðåóá óôï êåíü, óþèçêá áðü êÜôé èÜìíïõò áëëÜ ìïõ Ýñéîå ôï øõãåßï êáé óêïôþèçêá..."
- "×ì," ëÝåé ï Aãéïò "Üó÷çìç ìÝñá, Üó÷çìïò èÜíáôïò ðÝñíá ìÝóá." ÐÜåé êáé ï ôñßôïò êáé ëÝåé óôïí Aãéï:
- "Åãþ ôï ìüíï ðïõ èõìÜìáé åßíáé üôé êñýöôçêá óôï øõãåßï!!!"
BrazHlias (15-12-13), captain-cook (16-12-13), voskos_7 (15-12-13)
¸íáò ðåñéðôåñÜò, ðïõ Ý÷åé âßëá êáé ÖåñÜñé, äçëþíåé óôçí Eöïñßá ìüíï Ýíá ðåñßðôåñï.EëÝã÷åé ôçí äÞëùóç ï äéåõèõíôÞò êáé ðáñáôçñåß üôé ó' áõôÞ ôçí
ðåñßðôùóç õðÜñ÷åé öïñïäéáöõãÞ, ïðüôå èá ðÜåé Ýíáò õðÜëëçëïò íá ôïí åëÝãîåé.
ÐÜåé Ýíáò åöïñéáêüò óôï ðåñßðôåñï.
- KáëçìÝñá óáò, ëÝåé. Eßìáóôå áðü ôçí Eöïñßá.
- KáëçìÝñá, áðáíôÜåé ï ðåñéðôåñÜò êáé ôïõ äßíåé ôá âéâëßá.
Tá åëÝã÷åé ï åöïñéáêüò, ôá îáíáåëÝã÷åé, áëëÜ äåí ìðïñåß íá âñåé êáìéÜ ðáñÜâáóç. ¼ëá åßíáé êáèáñÜ! Oðüôå áðïñçìÝíïò ôïí ñùôÜåé:
- På ößëå, åäþ åßíáé üëá êáèáñÜ. Ðùò Ýâãáëåò ôçí âßëá êáé ôç ÖåñÜñé áðü Ýíá ðåñßðôåñï;
- Aáá, ëÝåé ï ðåñéðôåñÜò, áõôÜ äåí Ý÷ïõí êáìßá ó÷Ýóç ìå ôï ðåñßðôåñï. AõôÜ ôá Ýâãáëá áðü óôïé÷Þìáôá!
- ÄçëáäÞ âÜæåéò óôïé÷Þìáôá êáé ðÜíôá êåñäßæåéò; Ðùò ãßíåôáé áõôü; ñùôÜåé ï åöïñéáêüò.
- Ná, áðáíôÜåé ï ðåñéðôåñÜò, âÜæïõìå Ýíá óôïß÷çìá 1000 åõñù, üôé ô' áñ÷ßäéá ìïõ åßíáé ôåôñÜãùíá;
- Aõôü äåí ãßíåôáé, ëÝåé ï åöïñéáêüò. Tï ðÜù ôï óôïß÷çìá!
KáôåâÜæåé ôï ðáíôåëüíé ï ðåñéðôåñÜò...
- ÐéÜóôá, ôïõ ëÝåé.
Óêýâåé ï åöïñéáêüò, ôá êïéôÜåé, ôá ðéÜíåé, ôá åëÝã÷åé ðñïóåêôéêÜ...
- ÓôñïããõëÜ åßíáé, áðïöáßíåôáé. ¸÷áóåò!
- ¸÷áóá áðü óÝíá, ëÝåé ï ðåñéðôåñÜò. KÝñäéóá üìùò 10000 åõñù áðü ôïí áðÝíáíôé ðåñéðôåñÜ, ðïõ ôïõ Ýëåãá üôé óÞìåñá èá Ýñèåé Ýíáò åöïñéáêüò êáé èá ìïõ ðéÜóåé ÊÕÑÉÏËÅÊÔÉÊÁ ô' áñ÷ßäéá, êé áõôüò åðÝìåíå ðùò "ü÷é"...!
¹ôáí ìéá öïñÜ êáé Ýíáí êáéñü ç ìáéìïý ìå ôçí óáýñá ðÜíù óå Ýíá äÝíôñï êáé êáðíßæáíå ìáæß ÷áóßò.
-Óáõñá: Ðù ñå ìáëÜêá áõôü ôï ðñÜãìá ìå îÝñáíå ôïí ëáéìü, èá êáôÝâù óôçí ëßìíç íá ðéù ëßãï íåñü
-Ìáéìïõ: Ïê
Êáèþò ç óáýñá ðßíåé íåñü óôçí ëßìíç âëÝðåé 2 ìÜôéá íá îåðñïâÜëëïõí ìÝóá áðï ôï íåñü, Þôáí ï êñïêüäåéëïò
-Êñïêüäåéëïò: Ãéáôß åßóáé Ýôóé? ðùò Ýãéíáí Ýôóé ôá ìÜôéá óïõ ñå?
-Óáýñá: Å ðßíáìå ÷áóßò ìáæß ìå ôçí ìáéìïý
-Êñïêüäåéëïò: êáé ðïõ åßíáé ç ìáéìïý ñå óõ?
-Óáýñá: ÐÜíù óôï äÝíôñï
-Êñïêüäåéëïò: Ïê ðÜù
Ï êñïêüäåéëïò óêáñöÜëùóå êáé áíÝâçêå óôï äÝíôñï ðïõ Þôáí ç ìáéìïý êáé ðñéí ðåé êÜôé ãõñíÜåé ç ìáéìïý ìå ìáóôïõñùìÝíï âëÝìá êáé ôïõ ëÝåé.
ÊáëÜ ñå ìáëÜêá ðüóï íåñü Þðéåò;;;
BrazHlias (18-12-13)
Ìéá ìÝñá óôï ó÷ïëåßï ôïõ Ôïôïý Ýñ÷åôáé Ýíáò íÝïò êáèçãçôÞò Áããëéêþí. Ìüëéò ìðáßíåé óôçí ôÜîç, èÝëïíôáò íá ãíùñßóåé ôá ðáéäéÜ Üñ÷éóå íá ôá ñùôÜ
ðùò ôá ëÝíå:
- Ðþò óå ëÝíå;
- Ôæïýëéá, áðáíôÜ ç ìéêñÞ.
- ¼ðùò Ôæïýëéá Ñüìðåñôò! Ôé üìïñöï üíïìá!
Áðåõèõíüìåíïò óå Ýíá Üëëï ðáéäß...
- ÅóÝíá ðþò óå ëÝíå;
- Ìðñáíô, áðáíôÜ ôï áãïñÜêé.
- ¼ðùò Ìðñáíô Ðéô! Ôé ùñáßï üíïìá!
ÔÝëïò, áðåõèõíüìåíïò óôïí Ôïôü...
- Êáé åóÝíá ðþò óå ëÝíå;
- Ôïôüò, áðáíôÜ åêåßíïò.
- Ôïôüò, ôé âëáêåßá üíïìá. Çëßèéï ôåëåßùò, ëÝåé ï êáèçãçôÞò ìå Ýíá êïñïúäåõôéêü ýöïò
- Íáé; ÅóÜò ðþò óáò ëÝíå; ñùôÜ ï Ôïôüò.
- Ìå ëÝíå Ôïì, áðáíôÜ ï êáèçãçôÞò.
- Ôïì; ¼ðùò ÔÏÌ***íß ôçò ìÜíáò óïõ;
BrazHlias (18-12-13), VALVERDES_7 (28-12-13)
ÄéÝó÷éóå ðÝíôå ÷þñåò... åîáéôßáò ÷áëáóìÝíïõ GPS
Åßíáé ç éóôïñßá ôçò 67÷ñïíçò Âåëãßäáò Sabine Moreau, ç ïðïßá îåêßíçóå áðü ôï óðßôé ôçò óôï Solre-sur-Sambre ãéá íá ðáñáëÜâåé ìéá ößëç ôçò áðü ôï óôáèìü ôïõ ôñáßíïõ óôéò ÂñõîÝëëåò.
Ç áðüóôáóç åßíáé 61÷éëéüìåôñá, ùóôüóï ÷Üñç óôï ÷áëáóìÝíï óýóôçìá ðëïÞãçóçò êáôÝëçîå óôï Zagreb ôçò Êñïáôßáò, 1.500 ÷éëéüìåôñá ìáêñéÜ áðü ôï óðßôé ôçò.
ÐáñÜ ôç äéÝëåõóç ðÝíôå óõíüñùí, ðéíáêßäùí óôïõò äñüìïõò óå äéáöïñåôéêÝò ãëþóóåò äå óôáìÜôçóå ðïõèåíÜ ðÜñá äýï ìÝñåò áñãüôåñá üôáí õðïðôåýèçêå üôé êÜôé Ý÷åé óõìâåß.
"Åßäá üëùí ôùí åéäþí ôá óÞìáôá, óå äéÜöïñåò ãëþóóåò. Áñ÷éêÜ óôá ãáëëéêÜ, óôç óõíÝ÷åéá ãåñìáíéêÜ áëëÜ äåí óêÝöôçêá üôé êÜôé Ý÷åé ãßíåé ëÜèïò" êáé ðñïóèÝôåé: "ÓôáìÜôçóá áñêåôÝò öïñÝò ãéá âåíæßíç êáé ðëÞñùóá ìå ôçí ðéóôùôéêÞ ìïõ êÜñôá. ¼ôáí áéóèÜíèçêá êïõñáóìÝíç óôáìÜôçóá ãéá ëßãåò þñåò ýðíïõ óå ìéá óôÜóç ôçò åèíéêÞò ïäïý.
ÊáôÜ ôç äéÜñêåéá ôïõ 60ùñïõ ôáîéäéïý ôçò ç áóôõíïìßá ðéóôåýåé üôé ç Moreau ðÝñáóå ôç Ãáëëßá, ôç Ãåñìáíßá, ôçí Áõóôñßá, ôç Óëïâåíßá êáé êáôÝëçîå óôçí Êñïáôßá.
¼óï ç 67÷ñïíç ãíþñéæå ïäéêþò ôçí Åõñþðç, ï ãéïò ôçò áíÝöåñå ôçí åîáöÜíéóÞ ôçò óôçí áóôõíïìßá, ç ïðïßá üôáí ôçí åíôüðéóå ôïí åéäïðïßçóå êáé ôïõ äéçãÞèçêå ôçí áðßóôåõôç éóôïñßá ôçò ìçôÝñáò ôïõ.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn¢t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn¢t understand life."
—John Lennon
Ôá áíÝêäïôá ãéá ôïõò ÂÝëãïõò öôáßíå, ìåôÜ...
Åãþ, ãéá Üëëï ìðÞêá...
"ÌðÜôìáí êáé ìáëáêßåò..."
Åãþ åßìáé ôï "ìéêñü åðáñ÷éùôüðïõëï" êáé êáô' Üëëïõò, ï
"ëÜãíïò, çìåäáðüò ëïãéóôÞò".
"ÌðÜôìáí êáé ìáëáêßåò..."
Åãþ åßìáé ôï "ìéêñü åðáñ÷éùôüðïõëï" êáé êáô' Üëëïõò, ï
"ëÜãíïò, çìåäáðüò ëïãéóôÞò".
consigliere (21-12-13)
*****8.23*****
Ôóáê Íüñéò óå Âáí Íôáì: ÃáôÜêé, êÜíôï áí ìðïñåßò
Ï "óêëçñüò" Æáí Êëïíô Âáí Íôáì Ýêáíå óðáããÜôï ðÜíù óå äýï öïñôçãÜ ãéá íá äéáöçìßóåé ôç Volvo êáé íá åõ÷çèåß óôï êïéíü ôïõ "êáëÜ ×ñéóôïýãåííá".
Óôç äéáöÞìéóç, ï 53÷ñïíïò èáññáëÝïò ÂÝëãïò åðéäßäåôáé óå Ýíá áðßóôåõôï óðáããÜôï åíþ áðü ôçí ðëåõñÜ ôçò, ç óïõçäéêÞ áõôïêéíçôïâéïìç÷áíßá åðéóçìáßíåé üôé äåí ÷ñçóéìïðïéÞèçêáí åéäéêÜ åöÝ.
Å êáé; Ï Ôóáê Íüñéò åßíáé êáé èá åßíáé ï Ôóáê Íüñéò. Ç áðÜíôçóç ôïõ, "ðëçñùìÝíç". Óáöþò êáé ðñüêåéôáé ãéá ÷éïõìïñéóôéêü - âßíôåï ðáñùäßá, áëëÜ ôï áðïôÝëåóìá åßíáé óßãïõñá áðïëáõóôéêü.
Ðñüêåéôáé ãéá äéáöÞìéóç ôçò ïõããñéêÞò åôáéñåßáò [Ìüíï åããåãñáììÝíïé ÷ñÞóôåò ìðïñïýí íá äïõí ôá links. ] êáé ãéá ôçí ïëïêëÞñùóç ôçò, áõôÞ ôç öïñÜ, ÷ñçóéìïðïéÞèçêáí åéäéêÜ åöÝ.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn¢t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn¢t understand life."
—John Lennon
Áí ìßá åßíáé ç óôáèåñÞ áîßá óå áõôüí ôïí ðëáíÞôç, åßíáé ç ìáëáêßá...
"ÌðÜôìáí êáé ìáëáêßåò..."
Åãþ åßìáé ôï "ìéêñü åðáñ÷éùôüðïõëï" êáé êáô' Üëëïõò, ï
"ëÜãíïò, çìåäáðüò ëïãéóôÞò".
Autocorrect...
ÖáíôÜóïõ ôá Transformers íá Þôáí ãõíáßêåò: Èá Þèåëáí äýï ôáéíßåò ìïíï ãéá íá ðáñêÜñïõí!
"ÌðÜôìáí êáé ìáëáêßåò..."
Åãþ åßìáé ôï "ìéêñü åðáñ÷éùôüðïõëï" êáé êáô' Üëëïõò, ï
"ëÜãíïò, çìåäáðüò ëïãéóôÞò".
BrazHlias (23-12-13)
[YOUTUBE]qzpb2B33nCw[/YOUTUBE]
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn¢t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn¢t understand life."
—John Lennon
Rena (02-01-14)
Ôï åßäá ÷ùñßò Þ÷ï óôçí áñ÷Þ êáé äåí êáôÜëáâá ãéáôß ãåëÜôå
«ËÝãåéò ðáóÜ ìïõ íá óå ðñïóêõíÞóù. Êé åãþ ñþôçóá ôïí ðïýôæïí ìïõ êáé ìïõ åßðå íá ìç óå ðñïóêõíÞóù»...
Ãåþñãéïò ÊáñáúóêÜêçò ðñïò ôïí Ìá÷ìïýô ðáóÜ, 1823
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